The Truth Box, Part One

I conformed.
I got a Truth Box for my myspace.
Here's what I got, along with my responses to them:

ive always found you a lil bit annoying
First off, kudos on the spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. You clearly have absolutely no time in your day to hit the SHIFT, apostrophe, and t & e buttons. Anyway, you're just a little too generic. How am I annoying?

you're annoying because you're hella arrogant and think too much about yourself. you think you're hella good at everything and you always have to brag about every little thing. honestly thats you're only problem cause you're a good guy, you just gotta lay off yourself.
Whoever this is has learned the apostrophe well, but they're still shaky on the capitalization. Finally, some constructive criticism. I do think about myself alot, but perhaps with Soulja Boy ruling the charts, the economy tanking with gas prices peaking, and with my friends' low self-esteem, the only person I can turn to is myself. I do think I'm pretty good at a lot of things because someone has yet to show me up (except Lisa, but that's okay because she's cool). If you're going to be in the entertainment business, you have to hold yourself highly, or else you'll be squished. I brag about things because I try to make each day spectacular, and I'd like to share it with people.

s***** has a much better chance with a**** than you, and i know that for a fact. also you're not very good at guitar at all or any other instrument. and you're a really bad singer. but you're a good person so thats a start.
I'm done with grammatical checks. Humanity has failed me.
Okay. So maybe he does. Why be a shit about it and rub it in my face? Why not let a boy dream?
I'm not good at guitar? I may not be Eddie Van Halen, but I'm sure as hell better than you. You'd have to try really hard to play guitar for eight years and suck. It's like not being able to add in 10th grade. I can't play any other instruments? Then why do I play piano for choir? Why am I probably ten times better than you? I'm a bad singer? Tell that to the directors of the 15+ musicals I've been in, along with the directors of two award-winning choirs. I'm not trying to be cocky, I'm just trying to prove you wrong. And I think I'm winning.

you're always trying to "one up" people and its really annoying cause you're not very talented at anything except for being annoying.
If I've one-upped you, it's probably because I'm trying to boost my self-esteem while you spend precious energy trying to make me feel like crap.

you've been an amazing friend to me over the years! you're are so fun to hang out with and you can always make me laugh. Everyone should bow down to this god.
Thank you! Chances are, you're just as amazing as a friend. As far as bowing down goes, you don't need to actually bow. I'd just like a little more respect, to make up for assholes like the above few people.

I think you're a good person. I wish you would sing more often. You're probably going to guess who sent this.
I'm actually not sure who sent this, but thank you. I should sing more often. Right now I'm getting over a cold, but I'll start up again soon.

I think Jason is HELLLLLLLLA tight i actually once took a video of him singing and playing the piano on my phone cuz he is that raw. hes fuckin hilarious and he knows sooooooo much about the beatles (more than me which is weird) so if you hated on him/his musical abilities maybe you should get a life and learn what real music is like cuz you obviously dont know. I LOVE YOU JASON!!!!!!
I love you too, Darrah.

your song is great.
I'm assuming you're referring to "Back In Your Boat." I rather like that one. Not lyrically, but musically. The verses are straight-up Billy Preston, and the chorus would fit in on Music From Big Pink by The Band. The lyrics were my true feelings for that person at the time. I don't much care for the lyrics, but I don't know of anything else I could've written to that melody.
If you're not referring to that one, I'll just assume you're referring to another one of my songs. The ones I perform publicly are the ones I like, so thank you. I like it too.

you are extremely cokcy and arrogant, and its an embaressment that you have been playing guitar for however long youve been playing
I really don't think I'm that cokcy. My cockyness and arrogance are just to make up for a few minor insecurities. For instance, I think my nose is a little too big. I also don't like the fact that with age I'm losing my vocal range. It's also upsetting that I'm still failing math. It's a pet ego, really. Most of what I proclaim myself excellent at is usually pretty sarcastic, like "I just figured out the guitar part to this one Belle and Sebastian song, so now I've completely mastered the guitar."
Is anyone really like that?
It's an embarrasment that I've been playing guitar for eight years? What the fuck? How is that an embarrasment? Is John Mayer an embarrasment? He's been playing for ten more years than I have. Is Eddie Van Halen an embarrasment? He's been playing since the 60's, at least. Were Stevie Ray Vaughan and Jimi Hendrix embarrasments? They played for most of their lives. I think what you mean to say is "It's an embarrasment that you've been playing for eight years and are only at your current skill level." That's also a load of crap. Try playing guitar. Chances are, if you come close to my skill level, it'll sure take more than eight years.
Oh, and your spelling is embaressing.

you don't suck, whoever wrote those things are idiotic
you have a great voice and are incredibly funny
ignore those comments :)
anyone who could play guitar like you is worth spending time with
Thanks. You're a good person. Not someone wasting precious breath (oh, what a shame) trying to put me down for your own sick pleasure. Thank you a lot. Emily, I'm guessing.

This is what I've got so far. Call me cocky, but I'd rather call [most] of these people ignorant. They'll probably grow up, by a gun, vote Republican, and perish in the great Cheeseburger Famine of 2034.

*sigh*

-Jason