The Aura Of Happiness, Vanished?

It's Emily's birthday.
She's 18.
That got me thinking. At midnight, childhood disappears. Forever. The moment it's your eighteenth birthday, any thoughts of you as a child instantly vanish. No more "You don't know anything. You're just seventeen." Now you get the "Well, she is eighteen, I think we can trust her."
How weird does that feel? One second, you're a child (albeit a teenager), the next you're [legally] an adult. You can have sex with other adults and neither of you can be tried (sans rape). You can vote. You can buy cigarettes (but why would you?). Realistically, though, the birthday is just the celebration of having not died for the past 365 days. And Emily's celebrating having not died for the past 6,574 days.
And the day you turn eighteen, the wonderful U.S. Military sends you a giant packet of crap about why you should join the army, navy, coast guard, army reserve, navy seals, the circus, et cetera. Because you're eighteen now, you're obviously mature enough and qualified to hold and operate a gun and kill people for sport. You're obviously more mature than you were yesterday, when you were a know-nothing seventeen-year-old. Here. Have a beer. Oh, that's right. You're not 21. Well then, just have this rifle, this ammo, and this box of active grenades. Have fun, try not to get hurt. You're still young. You shouldn't be drinking. Just go kill innocent people in the meantime.
Seriously, Army?
You're seriously going to do that?
Boy. I really don't feel safe right now. Not that I don't trust Emily's judgement. She's smart enough not to join the army and she's not one to be near guns. Except water guns. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you're grown up, right? Right.



I'm starting to enjoy math class. It's an easy period to nap in and not miss anything. She usually just makes Corny Indiana Jokes the whole time.
I'm almost tired of history class. At this point, she's just repeating herself when it comes to directions for the research paper.
I'm about to crack in english class. I just can't take it anymore. Pardon my french, but we're not retarded, you nasal-voiced asswipe. And I've had it with Nick. For reals. Wipe that stupid grin off your face and contribute to humanity. Can you do me a favor and not be a dick?
I'm getting kinda bugged in French class. We're doing waaay too much, but maybe it's because she knows that we won't learn as much in "Madoom's" class next year.
I'm pretty tired of choir. I'm actually glad I'm not doing it next year. Hidalgo's just too quiet when he talks, and when we don't hear him, he flips a shit and yells at us: "Three rows, ladies and gentlemen. Three rows. Three rows!" It's enough to drive someone mad.
Drama's still fun, though.



I did a bit of thinking over the weekend, and I figured that it was just a phase I was going through, and I don't like her like that anymore.
But I talked to her today, and I realized "No, I still really like her. A lot."
And I guess I'll just have to wait until her phase is over.



To my friends: I'm tired of going along with the "awkward" thing. I'm just tired of it. It's a role I've fallen into, like "annoying," back in elementary school. Sure, I might have some awkward moments, but who the fuck doesn't? I'm tired of some of you being a bitch to me "because it's fun" or because I "won't argue back." One of these days, real soon, I will. Stop groaning at everything I say that could possibly be a double-entendre, especially when I don't mean it that way. Stop holding something that happened a year ago over my head. Stop being a shit about it. What's done is done. Stop interrupting me to talk with someone else about a youtube video of a cat falling asleep while I'm in the middle of a story. Stop making me be the guy you invite to your house only because everyone else ditched you. Stop making me change my plans so we can all do something, then change your mind at the very last minute, so that I have to re-rearrange. Stop thinking I'm stupid because I had a terrible math teacher a couple years back and therefore are currently in geometry. Don't be nice to me only when I remind you I got you John Mayer tickets. Don't take everything I say so seriously, because when I am serious, you might just think I'm kidding.
Fucking enough already. I might be a little younger than you, but I'm old enough to know when people are being total assholes.
I have to put up with this on a daily basis. A lot of times the only person I like is myself.
And people wonder why I'm cocky.
This doesn't apply to all of you. Just some of you.
I love you all dearly, but this has got to stop.
Glad to get that off of my chest.


Happy Birthday, Emily.
You're the best. And none of that applies to you.

-Jason